Wednesday, April 28, 2004

www.hotmail.com

All this talk about accidentally getting blasted with porn on the net reminds me of my tech support days. Yes, if you had trouble with your DSL line, you called me. Oh yeah boys, we had some fun. It's a matter of trivia that I also met Kristy, and the co-founder of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC), the legendary Shane Smith. But I digress...

On the evening in question I was manning the phones, and helping out an old codger who frankly had no business using this type of technology. The guy was in his 80's and sounded like Darth Vader. After a reg hack I defeated microsoft's "I-will-not-let-go-of-this-IP-and-you-can't-make-me" bug, and I asked the old fart to open up IE and make sure he was rollin'.

His homepage came up, and just to buy some time to finish my notes I said, "Why don't you check another page just to make sure it didn't load that one from the cache. I wanna make sure you are up."

He said, "I don't know any where should I go?"

I replied, "Oh, it doesn't matter... anywhere... try www.hotmail.com."

There was a pause...

"OH LORD! OH LORD! WHAT DID YOU SEND ME TO! OH LORD! GET IT OFF! JESUS HELP! HELP ME!"

I gathered myself and said, "SIR! SIR! Hot MAIL! M. A. I. L. Hotmail.. Mail. Like the postman!"

"OH LORD! THEY ARE ACTION SHOTS!"

The man was panic stricken. It was bad! I was afraid he was gonna have a stroke. I finally calmed him down, deleted the cache and showed him how to clear the history.

He thanked me at the end of the conversation, and said he was off to drink it all away...

Amen brother.

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