Wednesday, November 30, 2005

God's Own Egg Nog

1 Liter Maker's Mark
1 Quart milk
1 Quart heavy cream
2 Dozen eggs
1 1/2 Cups sugar

Separate eggs and beat the yolks until creamy. Whip sugar into the yolks, then bat the whites until they stand in peaks, adding a 1/2 cup of additional sugar if desired. Beat the yolks and Maker's Mark together and add the whites. Beat cream into a froth, then add milk and cream to the egg mixture. Add nutmeg to taste and garnish each cup with a dash of nutmeg for a dash of color. The recipe makes 2 1/2 gallons. Use pastuerized eggs if you can find 'em.

Tis' the Season!!!
The Otherside of the Coin

The Resident RocketScientist says:

This reminds me of something Mrs. Astro told me about this "Christian" sorority she thought about joining one semester at Texas A&M. She went to a few meetings, got to know a couple of the other girls, but in the process, she found out very non-Christian things about them.The one that sticks in my mind was the girl who was sleeping with every guy she dated, because she wanted to make sure she married someone who was good in bed. You know, since she'd be stuck with him the rest of her life.

So allow me for once to play the devil's advocate. The girl is correct. You are stuck with what you get the rest of your life. In reality, sexual incompatibility is a huge issue in marriage. It's one that some overcome and some simply do not. So I thought I should go ahead and share the 100% true nitemare scenario so you can judge for yourself.

During her OB/Gyn rotation in medical school DrWho learned of a situation that was just to sad. She was discussing out-of-the-ordinary situations with her attending and this came up. It seems one day a particularly attractive married woman came in to the office. When the attending got ready to examine her, he found that her hymen was still intact. The woman was visibly humiliated, but stated that she was sexually active... her husband simply wasn't big enough to break it. The attending explained that the exam would break it and effectively take her virginity, and she was ok with it. Think about that. Talk about Captain Tiny!

Now... we can all laugh at this poor soul's husband, but the fact is the odds of this chick getting knocked up by natural means are practicly nill, not to mention the fact that she's likely never had a real orgasm and probably never will... well... from her husband at least. Heaven knows what'll happen when she realizes that there are actually men with penises out there. I'm just sayin'.. Odd's are this chick's gonna have a happy mailman.

So... is pre-marital sex sin? Yeah it is. Is divorce sin? yeah. It is. Is cheating on your spouse sin? Yeah it is. Is one sin better than a lifetime of sin? That's your call babe.

How about a story from the other side?

I gotta buddy... good Church of Christ kid. Found a hot little thing down at the University of North Texas... Great girl... or so everyone thought... including him. They dated a long time. Plenty of time to get to know one another and talk about their plans. She was also very upfront about the fact that she was saving herself for marriage. Something that my buddy dug.

Blah blah blah... They get married, fly off to the honeymoon... where they spend the next 5 days sleeping seperately. The girl spent the entire time in tears, because horror of horrors... my buddy wanted to have sex with his new wife. Within a month of the marriage she had moved back in with her parents because she couldn't bare to live with such a "pervert". They were divorced after a total of 3 months of marriage.

Now here's my advice kids... You're signin' up for the rest of your life... and you ain't doin' it because you want to be celibate. Do ya have to have premarital sex to be sure it will work out? Of course not. But boys... you better damned well make out with her enough to make sure she doesn't have psycho anti-sex issues... and girls.... ya better find a way to make sure your prospective mate has the required tackle. No one's goin' to Hell for heavy over the clothes petting.

People... God forgives.

Divorce lawyers do not.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


One of the skills my mother taught me. I remember... spending countless hours eating lunch with her in some fastfood resturaunt or another... in total silence, simply listening to the conversations of those around us. I don't remember Mom consciencely teaching me... I just remember her pointing out a few things here and there... and eventually it became our game. I'm sure we made quite a pair.... a mother and her youngest son... sitting in silence... exchanging only knowing glances when a particularly juicy detail was dropped. Most times we would stifle our laughter for fear that we might miss something good.

This habit has stuck with me. In fact... its one that I probably couldn't break if I tried. I do it without thinking... and I have to check myself continually, because I'll hear something, and I'll start to point it out... then I realize that the company I am keeping really wouldn't get it.

Fortunately my dear wife has picked it up.

Last night we were at the mall letting the boys play, and we stopped off to tank up on some nasty mall food. Ahh.. is there anyplace better to eavesdrop than a crowed mall food court? I think not.

The natives did not disappoint.

3 trendy college girls sat behind me... and lo did we recieve an education.

***Warning. Honest depiction of college whore talk below. The young, old, pregnant, nursing, short, poor, and easily offended should procede with caution.***

Girl 1: So like... Why him?
Girl 2: Well.. first of all.. His family fits the criteria. I could like him just for that... but like... its more than that. What about you?
Girl 1: I like John... well.. I mean... The sex is just fucking incredible. Well.. lastnight wasn't so good... but normally its unbelievable.
Girl 2: What went wrong last night?
Girl 1: He was acting all sensitive and stuff... ya know? He was being all gentle with me... and lovey dovey...
Girl 2: God I hate that shit...
Girl 1: I know! Its like... just fuck me dammit! Jam it in there! I don't care who you love right now... I'm tryin' to get off.
Girl 2: Exactly! Pull my hair... call me a bitch!

I managed to not crack up. Mostly. DrWho didn't hear all of it, but she heard enough. The bit about family criteria would've made the whole event worth-while on its own... the rest was just bonus... oh sure.. it was pure gold bonus... but bonus none-the-less.

Boys... It's buyer beware. I simply cannot in good conscience recommend you to marry. Its quite clear to me that this generation is freakin' psycho.

So yes... I will be arranging marriages for my sons... at age 13... to well raised pretty little blonde girls of excellent southron genes. Its the only way I'll be able to insure I'll get to see my grandkids.

No offense to any of your posterity Spacebunny.
The Parable of the Snake

One day, a long time ago, a little girl name Sarah found a snake in the woods. The snake was badly wounded, and obviously dying.

Sarah felt pity on the snake and took him home with her, and nursed him back to health. It seemed like with each passing day, the snake gained strength. Sarah was so proud of him, and proud of herself for helping him.

Then one Sarah opened the snake's box to feed him... and the Snake bit her!

"Ouch!" said Sarah. "Why did you bite me? I've cared for you! I've helped you!"

The snake hissed.

"Indeed. You did help me. But I am still a snake."

Monday, November 28, 2005

Comment Gold

In the previous thread.... JAC drops this bomb:

You can't face the fact that coconuts are migratory because you are cocophobic due to a latent unrealized migratory instinct.

Bow Down.
Loosing the Cat

I have no idea if its paper or plastic... all I know is, I'm fixing to debag a few cats. Feminists. Gays. Minorities. Listen up folks. No one else loves you enough to tell ya this stuff... and pay attention. I ain't gonna say this more than once. Dammit.

It is a percieved mordern truism that fear and insecurity are the root of all of societies ills. According to what passes today for convensional wisdom sexism has its roots in male insecurity, racism is based on white ignorance (fear of the unknown), and anyone who dislikes homosexuality is labelled with a psuedo-psychiatric disorder (homophobia).

See? Its all because of fear... and in every case... please note how the strong are scared of the weak.

I've dealt with race and what morons call homophobia in the past, so for today we're gonna focus on sexism. Now... in order to better frame this discussion I'm going to go ahead and use the feminist definition of the relevant terms.

Feminism: The belief in the superiority of women in all things.

Sexism: The equal treatment of women and men.

Now that's out of the way... we can make some progress here. What inspired this little rant was the habitual hurling of insults from the feministas of the world. Whenever a man criticises feminism he is immediatly dismissed. He's only doing it because he's angry because he can't get laid. Interstingly this is very similar to the way homosexuals immidiately accuse their critics of being secretly gay. Its doubly interesting when you watch well known feminists cry about not being about to get a man.

So... men who criticisize feminists are just pissed because they can't get laid... and we know men want to get laid... and we know that men who want to get laid, try to get laid... so... these men are trying to get laid by hating feminism. Right?


Listen carefully now darlin' because this is the important part. Men who are being really nice and accomodating to you, are likely doing so because they want something from you. Men who don't want anything from you, will simply be honest with you. Those of us who are happily married to beautiful women really couldn't care less if you like us or not. So when you run your mouth about your idiotic political views, we point out the fact that said political views are idiotic, and often we do so very harshly.

That's how boys play. We play rough. Now... go wipe your tears away honey, and try to remember how much you like equality.

So where does this stupidity come from? Pretty simple really. Feministas, like gays, can't imagine people being different from them. For all their bluster about open-minds, when they are confronted with something that is legitimately different, they recoil in horror, and convince themselves it doesn't exist.

Feministas think all women are just like them... and since they would never lay a particular guy, then obviously no woman would. But... it's there's one other amusing aspect to all this.

See... conventional wisdom doesn't just have it wrong. It has it completely back-asswards. Where in nature do we see the strong fear the weak? Sure... there is the insane elephant-mouse reaction... but such are the exceptions that make the rule.

I ask you... who is acting insecure? Where on the internet do you find whole pages defending the accomplishments of men? Do you see men out there screaming that they are just as good as anyone else?

No. Its the feminists that do the screaming. Wailing like menopausal banshees... as though through sheer volumn alone they will achieve the sacred validation they so crave.

Well put a sock in it sister. You wanted equality. You got it. Its not our fault that you don't like it.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Stealing Light poles???

Ok seriously... I know people really don't want to work, but come on. At some point the work you do to avoid working, is more work than you'd be doing if you just went to work. I would say sawing down light poles and hauling them off to sell as scrap would certainly demonstrate crossing that line.

I mean come on... stealing light poles? How long is it before some thug in Mary-Land rounds up some friends and some jackhammers and makes off with a whole Post Office?

Friday, November 25, 2005

Only the Canadians...

From Drudge:
November 24, 2005 -- A former Canadian Minister of Defence and Deputy Prime Minister under Pierre Trudeau has joined forces with three Non-governmental organizations to ask the Parliament of Canada to hold public hearings on Exopolitics -- relations withBy “ETs,” Mr. Hellyer and these organizations mean ethical, advanced extraterrestrial civilizations that may now be visiting Earth.

On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head."

Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."

Hellyer revealed, "The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop."

Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

Read the rest here. Please note that last bit... We're apparently going to build a military base on the moon.

The moon.

So we can shoot at the aliens... Ok then. Please also note how often these aliens are described as "ethical". Now I don't know about you.. but I've read plenty of abduction stories... and I don't see anything ethical about kidnapping someone and probing them.... anally.

Ya know where I come from we call that sodomy... rape.. and kidnapping too... not to mention... you know... just plain rude.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Wednesday Quote

"Now, I am perfectly willing to believe Flannery O'Connor when she said, and she wasn't kidding, that the modern world is a territory largely occupied by the devil. No one doubts the malevolence abroad in the world. But the world is also deranged. What interests me is not the malevolence of man--so what else is new?--but his looniness. The looniness, that is to say, of the 'normal' denizen of the Western world who, I think it is fair to say, doesn't know who he is, what he believes, or what he is doing." - Walker Percy

Were truer words ever spoken?
N.B. Forrest Goes to New York

Late in his life, long after the war, and long after he'd disbanded the Kuklos Klan, Nathaniel Bedford Forrest was summoned to New York. His arrival there was not unknown, as in his day, he was a famous man. Sh****n and Grant had both raved about his exploits, and what those two said, was always printed.

Forrest was regarded as a villian though, for all their praise of his valor, and he found himself in a strange confrontation. As the train pulled into the station in New York, a man boarded his car brandishing a revolver and shout, "Where is that devil Forrest?"

Forrest.. still a large and physically imposing man simply stood, and approached the man. He looked him square in the I and said, "I'm Forrest."

The would be assassin went white, lowered his gun, and immdiately sat down in a nearby empty seat. Totally flustered and visibly terrified, he remained their while everyone else, including Forrest left the car.

Stories about NBF are a lot like stories about Davey Crockett, except many, if not most, are verifiable by military documents and the testimony of disinterested witnesses. Is this story true? Maybe... Maybe not... but I know that judging by Forrest's reputation as a fighter, and his sheer size... not to mention the violence he'd witnessed and participated in.. I am certain sure he was among the most intimidating people you'd ever meet. Yankee soldiers believed him to be an unkillable Demon... and with good reason.

But that's a story for another day.
The Young, The Innocent, and K-street Shuffle

Kiwi asks: Nate, wasn't Nathaniel Bedford Forrest the founder of the KKK? Do you really support their ideals & activities?

Bluckle up Dorothy.. Cause Kansas.... Is goin' bye-bye.

I know I know... The Sky's Blue, Water's Wet, and The Klan is evil. Everyone knows these things. Well today we're gonna talk about what your not told. First of all the Ku Klux Klan is not the group that Forrest was involved with. In fact... the original Klan wasn't even called the Ku Klux Klan. It was called Kuklos Klan... or "Family Circle". Its also a point of fact that Forrest didn't even form it. It was formed by six former Confederate soldiers in Pulaski Tennessee, who wanted to restart the war. Forrest was not a founder. He was simply the first Grand Dragon.

Ok.. but that's still just as bad right?

Well... no. No its not. Because the Klan of the 1860's bears no resemblence to the Klan of today. For example... the Kuklos Klan never burned crosses. Didn't happen. The cross burning was something new that came along in 1915 when the Ku Klux Klan was formed by a damned yankee from Peoria Illinios. That particular yankee came to georgia and burned a huge cross on top of Stone Mountain in a Klan ceremony, and thus the tradition was born.

The original Klan was not a racist organization, at least no more than any other organization of the time. It was primarily about restarting the war... or at least dealing with the chaos of the "reconstruction". Please note the image to the left... and particular the color of those swinging. Those are carpetbaggers... not freed slaves. Please also note the donkey... the symbol of the democratic party... which if you'll recall, was the party of the South, and lead the secession movement. That cartoon showed up in a newspaper during what yankees call the reconstruction.

Fact is... Bedford Forrest was by no means a racist man. He was a business man, and in fact, he was the first to promote a black soldier to rank of officer. Find any black officers in the Yankee army?

When Forrest joined the Klan, many of his ex-soldiers came with him, include some blacks. That'll confuse some folks... I guarentee it.

Forrest also disbanded the KuKlos Klan in 1871, when it was determined by its leadership that its activities were giving the yankee army further excuse to stay in the South.

I could write on this for days.. but it wouldn't make sense unless you first understand the reconstruction... and as far as my writing goes... we haven't even gotten to the war yet.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Didn't Happen

I read this and simply shook my head. Purgery. Pure and simple.

See... if ya read the link you found that apparently there has been testimony in a trial Down Under about a gang shooting involving a "military style" rifle.

Obviously the media has the story completely wrong... and obviously those involved are lying. There is simply no way that boy was shot in the shoulder.

He couldn't have been. Guns are illegal in Austrailia.

Gobble Gobble boys. It's about that time.

I figure by now, any decent man already has his bird picked out.

What's that? You don't cook your Thanksgiving bird??? You let the woman do it?

You leave something as critical as a Thanksgiving bird.. up to a woman? A woman who you know is going to stick in the oven? That's just sick.

Boys... Let's be perfectly clear on this... When it comes to meat... We're simply better. Now... if you totally suck at cooking, fine... leave it up to your wife... but better advice would be to head out and spend the day with a family member who will have a properly cooked bird.

And just what is the proper way? Excellent question. There are two actually. The bird may be smoked.. or... if you don't have the time... fried. Smoking is by far the preferred method, but sometimes you just don't have a full day to devote to the task. Don't get me wrong... I'll still chastize you for poor planning... but if the bird is well fried, you'll certainly get off the hook.

Let's focus on smoking... because come on.. if you can't fry a Turkey... you need to be guests, not hosts.

So... Smoking a Turkey... The Nate Way:

You Need:

A Turkey: I got a little 12 pounder this year. Usually I get a 20.
A Boston Butt: A few pounds will do. 4 or 5 or so.
Bacon Grease: You need about a mason jar full. I don't actually know how much is in a mason jar... I just know that I have a mason jar full of bacon grease on the shelf, I will likely use the whole thing. If you don't have access to bacon grease... just stop reading. You clearly have no business near a kitchen.
Bourbon: You knew this was coming.
1 Red Onion: Vadailia is an acceptable substitute.
4 Garlic Cloves
Salt & Pepper
Jack Daniels Wood Chips

Ok lets get started... First things first... you must smoke the bird for roughly 1 hour per pound. So depending on how big a bird you have, you may need to start this process the night before. So... First off... bring your smoker's water pan in and fill it water, and get your chips soakin'. They have to soak for a good half-hour before ya use 'em. Then, get your turkey out and prepare it for cooking as you normally would. That is... take out the neck and all that nastiness and wash it down some. Good. Now... fetch that bacon grease and rub down the skin with that grease real good.

Now mince up that garlic... and cut that onion in half. Half of the onion goes inside the carcass... and the garlic gets rubbed onto the skin of the bird. Now salt and pepper the bird. Note the grease will catch all the spices. Feel free to add additional stuff here to taste.

Ok... Bird's ready to go. Now for the smoker. JAC will tell you that ya need a charcoal smoker. I personally wonder if JAC has ever smoked a 22 pound bird. I have... and believe me.. you don't want to be gettin' up every 3 hours adding water and charcoal to a damned smoker in 14 degree weather. And that boys and girls.. is why I have a gas smoker.

After your chips have soaked, its time to work on the water pan. So take out your chips. and set 'em asside. Remember the other half of that onion? Chuck it in water pan. Pour some Bourbon in there too... How much? Hell I don't know... what ever looks good. Red wine is a good substitute here if you're lookin' for a different taste. I've used both. People put all kinds of things in that water pan... if you think you know somethin' fun to try go to it. If it's good, tell us. If it ain't, don't tell anybody, they won't know no different.

Okie doke.. we should be about ready to go. Light that smoker and throw the chips to it... put the water pan in.. then the bird on the first rack. Leave the top rack empty... we're usin' it later.

Now remember to check your chips and water ever so often... and add as necessary. Do not let the water run out. That sucks. Smoke that bird like I said... about 1 hour per pound. You'll probably have to run a few neighbors off... you won't beleive the smell while this thing is cookin'.

When you're about 3 hours or so from being done, drop that boston butt in there on the top rack, directly above the turkey. That way all those good juices will just drip down... and run all over that turkey... aww yeah... now we're talkin'.

And that boys... is just about that. That's how we do it... and if it ain't the best damned bird you've ever had... then I'll happily conclude that you got to much damned yankee blood in ya.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Nate's Official Holiday's

January 1 (New Year's Day)
January 19 (Lee's Birthday)
January 21 (Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson's Birthday)
February 14 (Valentines Day)
Third Monday in February (Washington's Birthday)
Good Friday (Late March, Early April, See Below)
Easter Sunday (I don't know the Gregorian Calender)
April 26 (Confederate Memorial Day)
June 3 (Jefferson Davis's Birthday)
July 4 (Independence Day)
July 13 (Nathanial Bedford Forrest's Birthday)
First Monday in September (Labor Day)
Second Monday in October (Columbus Day)
Third Saturday in October (UT vs. Alabama)
October 31 (Halloween)
November 11 (Veterans' Day)
Fourth Thursday in November (Thanksgiving)
December 24 (Christmas Eve)
December 25 (Christmas Day)

Please note this list does not contain birthdays and anniversaries.
Trade, Republicans, and The War For Southron Independence

A relevant question to ask might be... Was Henry Clay to blame for the whole war? Henry Clay? A kentuckian from decades earlier? How could that be?

Let me explain...

After the War of 1812 the United States economy wasn't in real good shape, and Clay devised a plan to restructure it. It was called the "American System" and strong tarriffs and export bounties were its cornerstones. This system was deeply injurous to the southern interests. While the states of the North were busily building their own little economic autarchy, the economy of the South was actually a global one, dependant on the international trade of raw material (cotton) for manufactured goods from Europe.

The imposition of protective tariffs artificially raised prices to the Southern consumer by up to 40% ad valorem and therefore decreased the value of cotton exported relative to goods produced for domestic consumption. Robert Barnwell Rhett, a longtime Senator from South Carolina, assembled statistics which showed that between 1791 and 1845, the Federal Government collected $927,050,097 in customs duties, of which $711,200,000 were collected in the Southern States, and just $215,850,097 in the more populous North. Moreover, of $102,000,000 expended upon "internal improvements" only $37,000,000 were devoted to projects south of the Mason-Dixon line. In short, the Southern States were disproportionately taxed by the "American System", yet, possessing few domestic manufacturing establishments, benefited little from the direct effect of the protective tariff, and received only a small share of the Federal windfall.

At best these tarriff laws were dubious. Consider.. the Constitution mandates the federal government act "for the general welfare" of the states. How then does one justify laws which so clearly benefit one region of the country, while sodomizing another?

By the mid 1800's things were getting bad. The federal government was raping the South with such efficiency that that the national debt had been irradicated by 1840.

The whole Tarriff crisis came to a head when Congress passed the "Tarriff on Abominations" which prompted South Carolina to pass the "Nullification of Ordinances" which basicly meant that the State of South Carolina would nullify any law it deemed unconstitutional. Anyone suprised that state fired the first shots?

South Carolina never actually nullified things. Its power play simply forced congress to back off its Tarrifs. This was all a source of serious regional discord in america until Polk was elected and put the US solidly on the path to free trade.

This is the back-drop, and the continued atmosphere of distrust that colored politics in the 1840s and 1850s. The South was continually pitted against the North on issues economic, and social.

As the Abolishonist movement gained strength... more and more the press blamed every violence on the "Slaveocracy" of the south. The unpleasentness in Kansas... "The Bleeding of Kansas" as it was called... was blamed on the South.

In 1856 Edwin Sumner delivered a vituperative and classless speech regarding the "Crime against Kansas" in which he cast scurrilous assertions upon the moral character of the absent Senator Butler of South Carolina. Thankfully... Preston Brooks, the other senator from South Carolina and kin to Butler, was present. He knew Sumner to be a coward, and simply grabbed his cane and walked to the front of the hall. There, Brooks beat Sumner with his cane until the yankee was unconscience.

God Bless South Carolina.

In the press, Sumner's accusations were barely mentioned. Only the violence, which was cast as further evidence of the Evil inherent in the South and its people.

Matters escalated. Several northern states passed "personal liberty laws" which sound nice at first... but when you read them you realize they are just an excuse to disregard the constitution. Something that the Republican party of the day wasn't shy about at all. To demonstrate the Republican disdain for the Constintion on Independence Day 1854 William Lloyd Garrison publicly burned a copy of the document upon which American liberty is founded, damning it for "a covenant with death and an agreement with hell". William Seward, who had advocated the enactment of "Personal Liberty Laws" by the Northern States in order to frustrate the operation of the Fugitive Slave Law of 1850, publicly contended that, "There is a higher law than the Constitution."

Please keep these facts in mind when you hear Rush Limbaugh, or anyone else, defend the Tyrant King Lincoln.

The assumption of the existence of a "higher law" than the Constitution was essential to the coherence of Republican ideology. Nearly every object of the party's political program was contrary to the letter or inimical to the spirit of the compact of 1789. The Supreme Court had pronounced in 1857 that the exclusion of slaveholders from the territories by the Congress would represent the illegal assumption of an undelegated power contrary to the provisions of the Tenth Amendment. The constitutionality of protective tariffs was also a matter of question. Yet no recognition of the limits of the authority vested in the Federal Government dimmed the zeal of the Republican party for these measures. During the 1850s the party had deliberately conspired to obstruct the operation of the Fugitive Slave Law, in violation of the obligation placed upon the States to return runaways. Moral fervour, and material interest, had led the Republican State Governments to act with a reckless disregard for the Constitution in the past and Southern statesmen could therefore entertain no expectation that a Republican Federal Administration would show more restraint.

Maybe we'll pick up here another day... I suspect that's enough for most of you to digest.

Friday, November 18, 2005

God Bless Him

I really hate CJ... but this pic is just priceless. Please note.. there are like 7 protesters. The rest is just crowd and press. No doubt this was sold as a hugely significant event by the MSM.

I know I'm gettin' a late start.. but between the boys.. the fire.. the bourbon.. and nasty funk I been layin' down on the new set... I ain't had much time.

It's been a good night. Can ya tell?

No doubt JAC is ashamed. Here's a boy with good solid rock and roll roots... and his little brother... whom he taught.. and raised up proper... goes funk. I mean all the time. I mean.. if I sit down at a set... even to play Rush... or some other straight as an arrow rock band... I still find myself throughin' in needless grace notes and poppin' a rimshot a hair late on the off beats... Why?

Because that's what I do. When it comes to a drumset... I'm just not white enough.

This is not to say that I don't have the ability to play pissed off. Oh I can... and I love it. But most of the time I just don't. Most of the time I am so happy to just be playin' that I find myself trying to throw a groove check.

Here that? That's JAC somewhere throwin' up. I swear if I keep this up he's gonna slit his wrists from the shame.

Ya know how it happened? Gregg Bisonette did it. Its his fault. I met him in high school through the "Grammy in the Schools" program. Basicly they brought in stud musicians to play with the best high school kids in the state. Someone decided that was me. Fair enough. I wasn't complainin'. Anyway.. I ended up spending a couple sessions with Gregg one on one. All told it was about 8 hours or so. Needless to say he made an impression. He was pretty blown away with my rudimentary skills and my independence on a kit... but he figured it would be fun just to spend the time talking about groove and feel... about using drums to either help the hook, or to actually make the drums the hook.

For the most part now... I do my own thing when I play. I don't listen to the bass guitar really at all. I listen to the melody and the rythmn guitars and either mimic what they're doing or compliment it. Neil Peart has really always done it that way... and Lars did it that way as well, until they neutered him.


Aren't we supposed to be talkin' about booze, and guns, and smokes??? dammit!

As you can see... I'm preoccupied. Ah well... its bourbon and coke and roarin' fire in the stove tonight.

How 'bout y'all?

Understand... this is in no way reflective of the music I listen too... or the drummers I admire. Groove is not really a word associated with Rush ya know? Oh sure.. you here them live.. and they slow down the guitar lick at the begining of Spirit of Radio... sure... its awesome. But its the exception that makes the rule.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

We Have Drums!

After pacing the floors all day... I was finally rewarded. My new set arrived around 6:00pm. I didn't get it set up until about 20 minutes ago though... as there was much chaos in this particular petting zoo.

Either way... she's set up now.. and she freakin' rocks. So... I'm off to throw down. I'll give y'all a comlete report after the honeymoon is over, and maybe I'll even laydown a track and post it here.

Jamie'd have a field day with that.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Politics of TennCare

I got to thinkin' the other day... there is a huge misconception out there about TennCare and how it came about. Fact is, I've been meaning to write this for a long time... I reckon its time I got around to it.

To understand how a conservative state like Tennessee ended up with its very own social medicine you have to go all the way back to 1980. That's when Tennessee's problems with Medicaid started really showing up.

Year after year medicaid payments were increasing... and by 1986 it was getting noticable. But that was just the begining.

From 1987 to 1993 medicaid charges tripled in Tennessee. By this time the Feds were really paying attention... and the State of Tennessee found itself on the butt-end of several court cases. Fraud within Medicaid was rampant. Pockets of various individuals... Governor Ned Ray in particular had been lined with fraudlent Medicaid money... and by God it was time to pay the piper.

Ned Ray caught a break though... His bird huntin' buddy Bill Clinton got elected President in 1992.

Mrs Clinton, if you'll recall, was all fired up on social medicine. Hillary Care if you will. Ol' Slick Willie... he's a manipulator. He knows how to use power... if ya know what I mean. So... Here is his buddy Ned Ray bent over a barrell over medicaid fraud... and here is his wife... itching to prove that utopian social medicine can work.

So... a bird hunting trip got planned.

Simple really... Tennessee adopted what amounted to a pilot Hillary Care program... and all those Federal Lawsuits just sorta disappeared.

Since Ned Ray and Bill were friends... we won't use the word blackmail. We'll just call it a deal. A deal that put the people of Tennessee over the barrell, and let a few powerful individuals and a few big healthcare corporations get away with stealing millions.

Well.. at least we can take comfort in the knowledge that TennCare basicly bankrupted those same HealthCare corporations that benefited from the deal that formed it.

Now if we could just get Ned Ray thrown in jail...

The Reverend Jesse Jackson has commented publicly that Terrell Owens should be allowed to play for the Eagles.

Well slap my ass and call me Sally! If Jesse Jackson says so... By God it must be so.

What were the Eagles thinking? Attempting to make a personnel move without first consulting the Oracle himself?

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Arriving Thursday

Yes. I am well aware that it is a dorky looking electronic drumset. I am also aware these things have improved so much over the last several years that I just had to have one. Don't get me wrong... I still have the real drumset, and its not going anywhere. This one however will be a welcome addition, in that it won't wake up the kids. So how's it play?

I played one at Fork's Drum Closet in Nashville. Buzz rolls... flams... all show up just fine. The attendant is showing me the different sets... trying to impress me with the thing's brain... until I finally shoo'd him away. Really.. I don't care. Just let me see how it responds. That's all that matters.

Cheese.... hertas... flam-taps... inverts... flam-drags... cheese-ta-chuttas... everything came through... every little grace-note. I was stunned. It was damned near like playing a real drum. It's a three zone snare pad too... to you can hit rimshots. That was a must.

I am totally stoked boys. But I'm guessing that's pretty obvious at this point. Yes... I know I know... it looks dorky.. and I'll look dorky playin' it... but I'll be playin'. That's what matters.
CCW Lifestyle

Rogerthat says:

I live in an oven of a city and know that there are several (11) months out of every year that are just not real condusive to layering clothes. I can't see where reconsidering ccw is sensible just becuase I can't pack a .50 Desert Eagle. I was mearly asking whether anyone has any experience with the NAA firearms and if they are reliable. A .380 will stop a man if the rounds land center mass.

Frankly the "its to hot to layer clothes" is a cop-out. I carry in Nashville... in Texas.... In Oklahoma... in Georgia... In Alabama... all in the heat of summer. You throw on a thin (think hawaiian) shirt over a tank-top and leave it unbuttoned. You're no hotter than you would be in a t-shirt.

Seriously... I'm going to need specific examples of these .380's that are so much smaller than guns in .40. I can show you Derringer's . 44mag for crying out loud, and .44mag wheel guns that are practically as small.

NAA guns are well made firearms and are known to be reliable.. but that crap about a .380 stopping a man is just that. There is a drastic difference in energy transfer from a .380 to 9mm, and another step up from 9mm to .40.

Even with Glasers or Black Talons you'll be taking a chance.

You don't go center mass with a .380. You go for headshots. Thankfully its a very accurate round.

CCW is a lifestyle. It's not about finding a weapon that keeps you from changing anything. You change to accomidate the weapon. The weapon is important. It's not a purse. You don't get one to match your outfit.

It's not about derringers vs. desert eagles. There is plenty in-between. A pocket pistol is just not a choice that people who've thought a lot about CCW make. Its a notoriously bad place to keep a gun, as its hard to retrieve the weapon, its uncomfortable to carry the weapon there (even the small ones) and the weapons are so limited.

Get a wheelgun and an ankle holster. Practice a tactical ankle draw until its second nature.

Broken back... burning buildings... plane crashes... The Great Depression... Virgil Kindig has lived through it all. The spunky ol' codger recently celebrated his 98th birthday.

This was an emotional birthday for him... because just a year and a half before, he found his will to live tested one more time.

Two scum invaded his home... tied him and his wife up.. and set to looting.

One can imagine that something like that don't sit to well with a fella that'd been through everything ol' Virgil had been through.

So... He just went about gittin' loose... and once he was loose... he went found the pistol he had stashed...

Then he shot the bastards.

His wife died two weeks later of stress related symptoms that the doctors claimed came from the incident.

The two invaders lived... but they're in jail... and likely won't get out.

This is why you don't go pickin' on old folks in Tennessee. Because old folks in Tennessee are liable to shoot you.

Friday, November 11, 2005


Ok... with the return of ATF we are now officially back baby! So lets get this thing rolling....

It's Bookers tonight boys... I sipped on the good stuff a little lastnight to... just to get myself ready. What I really wanna talk about though.. is what I had last week. I was able to sample some Blantons. High dollar Blantons. I don't recall the name off the top of my head, but I remember it came in a velvet bag that was so smooth and silky it made me wish God had designed our scotums that way... He could've even put our name on the side in some fancy font... wait... what was I sayin? Oh yeah! Blantons... The stuff was in a fancy crystal bottle with a peuter do-hickey on the cork too... helluva presentation. 1 problem though... it wasnt' very good. Don't get me wrong... it was good... it was by no means bad whiskey... but it had this taste to it... something that Blantons fans love... that rational bourbon drinkers know is a fault. This just in... if we wanted Scotch... we wouldn't be drinking bourbon. Dig? Now I'm not slammin' on Blantons people here. I'm just sayin'.. it's not "good" bourbon... it's wierd bourbon.

Arturo Fuente. Do you know him? Heard of him? I don't know him either but I know his cigars are freakin' awesome. I have quite the A. Fuente sampling here in the well stocked humidor courtesy of WellDigger. I swear... sometimes lighting one up is like smoking three distinctly different cigars as the different flavors introduce themselves and exit the longer you smoke. Its a common trait among fine tobacco, and one that I dearly love.

While browsing young Will's blog I found an off-hand remark desparaging the name of Hi-point firearms. Now... don't get me wrong... I don't own any... nor do I know anyone who does. However... I am aware of the fact that Hi-Point makes the second coolest carbine one can buy.
Please note the distinct sci-fi nature of the weapon. Also note the ghost ring sights front and back... and the heat shield. Best of all? This fun little plinker can be had for an msrp of $199. You can actually pick them up for $150 or so brand new. They come in 9mm or .40. What more could you ask for? Well...

You could ask how it shoots.

Yes... let's talk about that. You all know how much JAC and I hate the mini-14. So imagine my suprise when I find that GunTest magazine actually did a head-to-head comparison between this little Hi-point and its almost $600 ruger competition.

Using 4 different types of ammunition... the Hi-point smoked the ruger in every case. In fact... in many instances the Hi-point's average group size was approaching half of the Ruger's. As for reliability... each rifle fed around 300 rounds flawlessly.

Take that Ruger fans.

Ok... normally that would about do it for the ATF post but its been awhile... so before I sum up let me just list the CD's currently in the Titan's changer:

1. White Zombie: Astrocreep 2000
2. Van Zandt: Get Right With The Man
3. Jason Aldean: Jason Aldean
4. Stevie Ray Vaughn: Live Alive
5. Johnny Cash: When The Man Comes Around
6. Dwight Yokum: 20 Greatest Hits

But tonight?

Tonight.... it's:
A: Bookers
T: A.Fuente corona later.
F: PT-101. Glasers and Hydro-shoks.

Charlie Robinson strums in the background.
I'm Batman

You scored as Batman, the Dark Knight. As the Dark Knight of Gotham, Batman is a vigilante who deals out his own brand of justice to the criminals and corrupt of the city. He follows his own code and is often misunderstood. He has few friends or allies, but finds comfort in his cause.

Batman, the Dark Knight


Indiana Jones


James Bond, Agent 007




The Terminator


Captain Jack Sparrow


William Wallace


Lara Croft


El Zorro


Neo, the "One"


The Amazing Spider-Man


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with
Let Me Get This Straight...

The Peoples right to bear arms is the Second Amendment to the Constitution. It is specificly and obviously written... and again... it is the second one. In spite of that, it is apparently not unconstitutional for the city of San Fransisco to outlaw the ownership of firearms.


No state has the authority to inconvience a woman on her way to kill her unborn baby... because it violates her Right to Privacy... which is not in the constitution.

Ok... Gotcha.

It's funny how perception changes so much over time. For example... when DrWho and I first came to WV we were really stoked. Morgantown looked like a lot of fun. In our minds, WV was a rugged state where just about everyone carried guns. It has a reputation for being a small govenment state. It was our kinda place right?

For the first year or so... we liked the people... but we hated the government and the cold.

All these years later... and by "all these" I mean 5... we still hate the government of WV... but now we hate the people too... and I can honestly say... I'm thankful for some of the experience.

Lets face facts... we in the South know a lot about some things... but keeping warm is not one of them. Had I not come to West By God Virginia, I wouldn't now know the joy that a wood burning stove brings. Seriously... I used to think that on a cold night, a fireplace would be pretty nice!

Nice to meet ya... I'm Ignor A. Moose.

I've learned to use the thing now... and I swear I'll never be without one again. Nothing takes the chill out of the air like a stove. I've had the house so hot, that we had to open the doors when it was 15 degrees outside. We see our neighbors walking around indoors... in sweaters and stuff while workin' their new forced air heater for all its worth... and over here... when the fire's goin, if you have more than boxers and a t-shirt on, you're liable to sweat. Seriously... it hits 80 in here... while the thermostat is set to like... I dunno... 60?

Wood's cheaper than gas boys.

Yeah.. it takes more work.. but its fun. I get a lot of satisfaction and pleasure from tinkerin' with that stove... and not just because fire happens to be the greatest afrodesiac in nature.

Fact is.. if they ever decide to run the commies out of West Virginia... and the people who live here actually decide to develope some semblence of a work ethic... this could be a pretty nice place. The country's awesome... just rugged... hard. It looks like it could kill you... and it could.

Granted... when we leave... which is comin' up here pretty fast... we'll probably never come back, unless its for a little vacation or somethin'...

But hey... I learned how to use a wood stove... so the 5 years wasn't a total waste.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


One of the things I love about firearms is the repetitive care. I love cleaning my weapons. Tonight... out on the front porch... amonst the blowing wind and chilly night air, I cleaned three handguns.

I'm interested in knowing y'all routine here.

Over the years I've tried lots of this and thats.. but I've settled into the following groove.

1) Drop clip, lockback slide. Check that the chamber is clear.

2) Check that the chamber is clear, and field strip the weapon.

3) Spray down the inards of the weapon with gun scrubber and wipe down.

4) Scrub with bore brush and Hoppes #9.

5) Clean inside the barrel with bore brush and Hoppes.

6) Swab inside the barrel with Hoppes.

7) Run 1 dry swab through the barrel to check clean.

8) Apply RemOil to clean pad, and run through barrel one time.

9) RemOil the entire weapon liberally, then wipe down well.

10) Re-assemble weapon and reload weapon.

It took about 45 minutes to apply this system to 3 weapons tonight, including setup and cleanup. I'm a huge fan of RemOil, GunScrubber and Hoppes. Y'all can say what ya want about BoreCleaner... that stuff don't smell right.

Its funny how such a routine reminds you how much you love one gun or another... I cleaned my PT101 last. Man do I love that gun. Everything about it is solid. Sure... it's a big gun. But it just exudes confidence. It feels right in your hand. When you hit the slide release it snaps forward with astonishing ease. As if misfeeds had never been invented.

The mechanism is so familar... everything about it is predictable to me. The way the RemOil runs... the shine after the deep penetrating oil is rubbed off...

And yes... I mean it to sound that intimate. Its pure bliss... right up to the point where she slides into the Fobus... and rests happily on my hip.

Hey... We're gun guys. This is what we do.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Gay Cowboys

Ya know Res... I ain't never seen no movie about gay Texas cowboys. Aparently its only Wyoming where they have queer cowboys... and they must have a lot of them... because they made a movie about 'em.

Its a good thing Chris LeDoux didn't live to see this.

And now I read that the international queer population has become fascinated with Wyoming because of the movie, and the state will probably see a tremendous increase in gay tourism.

Great. Just f'ing great.

What are these people thinking? You have a year when people are staying away from theatres in droves... and you push crap like this? I mean... could there be a more repugant subject for the 18 to 25 year old male demographic???? Which by the way is the single most important demographic there is when it comes to movie going???

I haven't seen a movie since Episode III and I doubt I will... though I confess I really wanted to see Doom.

Come on... Its the Rock man. The Rock kicks ass.
Kiwi's Questions

Ok... I guess you've been patient enough. Seems that over the last few weeks Kiwi has showed up and started asking some questions... for example... how can I be a stay-at-home-dad and not be a limp-wristed liberal pussy? and I believe there was some mention of my musical tastes... so lets clear this stuff up.

First lets deal with the Alpha Male thing. Its just who we are darlin'. Its got nothing to do with what we do. You see it guys who're 5'5" but carry themselves like their are 6'8". I'm not talkin' about small man's disease here either. Be it elevated testosterone... or something else... we're just born this way.

Ahh.. but then how does a dude with elevated testosterone levels endup a stay-at-home dad? pretty simple really... he marries a chick who is becoming a doctor. Its a cold fact of life that the odds of me ever making even half what DrWho will make are remote at best. Plus... there was just no way we were gonna let someone else raise our kids. Daycare was not an option. One of us was gonna stay home and watch the youngin's. Financially speaking... it would've been totally assinine for DrWho to stay home.

I'm starting to think you're going to see more and more of this sort of thing happening, as society becomes more and more feminized. Traits associated with masculinity are being systematicly targeted for removal by the education system and the psycho personnel chick powers that be. Think about it. Each day college becomes less about education and more about the "bend over and take it" attitude. It doesn't weed out the non-competitive or the ignorant. It weeds out the rebelious. Work places all over the country are becoming anti-male, where it is more important to be nice than to be productive.

Faced with these obstacles, over time, men will gravitate more and more to self-employment in the area's of skilled labor, investing, or some other insulated area. Some men will simply wash their hands of the whole affair and either leave, or retract from society completely. Which is what I've largely done. The skill set I have requires work in an office type environment, and the fact is, I just don't think I can do it anymore. Someone would do something stupid... and I would tell them about it... and I would be fired for trying to be productive instead of trying to be nice.

Now... I'm no MrMom. In our house the roles have not changed. I'm the daddy. I probably do less around the house than my friends do... which I find highly amusing. I don't spend my time scrubbing floors or dishes. I spend my time with my boys. We rough-house... we play with trucks. I read to them. I teach them. None of this is feminine.

See... really... I was this gun-toting redneck alpha male mortgage broker... then my wife got knocked up... and now I'm this gun-toting redneck alpha male stay-at-home dad. And I'm not alone. Plenty of Stay-at-home dads out there are gun-toting conservatives...

Ain't that right Papapete!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Little Pleasures

I love my family. And I love needling them. Particularly WellDigger.

See... poor Digger... he's just like my buddy Curt. He can smoke you all day on his new Witch's Broom of a bike... but if you get him just once... it sticks in his craw. In fact... I'll wager that he's thought about this very series of events in the last ten minutes... and he's still irritated by it.

See... Digger has that YZF purrin' boys. She is pure evil. As has been documented elsewhere... in contrast, I have been neglecting the Black King. Mostly the King was just sufferin' from a lack of attention. Over the last couple weeks... I remedied that.

Anyway... me and ol' digger decided to take 'em out for a ride saturday... and even though the King was runnin' a lot better I knew he was no match for Digger's bike. The tall gears may have made the difference on a huge straight away... but anything less than a mile and Digger would take me... unless....

We pulled out of the neighborhood and matriculated down Compton rd to the stop light. Uneventful... except... I was payin' attention.. and I had noticed that once we stopped, Digger didn't down shift. His front wheel was about a foot in front of mine.. but I knew if he didn't drop a couple... and I cought him off guard, I would dust him in a rather humiliating fashion.

So I listened.... and I watched.

no clicks. no downshifts.

Lights of the crossing street are yellow now. Has he noticed me watching them? still no down shift. GREEN MEANS GO!

I slammed the throttle wide-ass open and the King screamed. It didn't take Digger long to realize what was wrong... but it was way to late. All the power in the world won't save you from that mistake. I knew he'd be coming so at about 65 I let off the throttle.. and sat up in the saddle in my standard one-handed way-to-relaxed riding position. It would've been so unsatisfying for Digger to blow by me at that point that he just rode up and looked at me.

I know it bothered him... cause he was still bitching about it 2 hours later.

Even though he knows the rodes down there like the back of his hand... and he dusted me completely several times... I always got the feeling it was unsatisfying for him... probably because exept for that one time, I never really punched her. Hey... what's fun about running off from someone who ain't trying?

The old sayin' is Old age and treachery beats youth and skill. Well... I says..

What about youth and treachery?

The party line is clear. From the Elephant... and from the Ass... Islam is a religion of peace. Dear Leader states that it's a great religion, hijacked by fanatics. Global Jihad is not global. Its just a few nut jobs.

Strange. Its starting to look global ain't it?

What started in Paris has now spread to over 300 towns and is showing little sign of slowing. Cities burn... and old man is beaten to death... Just look away folks. Its a religion of peace. Moslem slums like the ones in Paris exist in every country in Europe. Even Jolly ol' England. This may not spread, but it would be foolish to simply assume that it will not.

What then if it does?

What if the europeans respond in a way similar to what they did in the past? That is to say... what happens when millions of dead moslems start showing up? If the big war is declared... who's side to we fall on? And is America exempt? Historically, these things start in one place, and if they gain enough steam, cause revolution all over the world. It happened as recently as 110 years ago.

Obviously moslems aren't going to rise up and start burning things in America... but the poor in the slums might. Hey... if it worked in Paris... it may work here.

The alarmist in me has been wanting to type this up for some time, but I decided to hold off until I saw real evidence of spreading... and I am still calling it a bit early. Hey... ya don't come here for the standard fare right?

Everything breaks. All it takes is time and pressure. It appears we have plenty of both right now. I find myself looking around... wondering if X is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. This particular X seems to be the best bet so far... though I was really suprised when SCOTUS shot down an awesome second amendment case last year. I admit, I thought we were going to war for about 2 weeks.

Alas... the far right let me down again.

Just keep your eyes open folks. Things are hairy in europe right now... and that means things might get hairy here in a hurry. Doesn't always happen... but it does sometimes.
DrWho's New Escort

I took her to the gun shop Saturday and she fondled every gun in the place. I lobbied hard for the 24-7.... or the XD... or even a Glock... but alas... she picked up the Millinium and said, "OO! I like this!" It sites in instantly... it's comfy in her hands... and as she said... it just feels right. It's a well made, reliable weapon. 10+1 of .40s&w. Who am I to argue?

And this of course also means that the next gun is for me.


Friday, November 04, 2005


Look who's back.

Wow... damn am I havin' a good time. DrWho and I feel like we've been gone a month, even though its really been less than two weeks. We've seen the better part of 3 states, and when I say seen I don't mean driven through. I mean toured, explored, enjoyed, and played in, and considered. I've riddin' both motorcycles and horses in the last few days... seen cotton and pecans harvested... and that's pronounced pee-can you yankee bastards.

We've seen everything from mini-farms with geo-thermal houses, to pecan farms with mcmansions... and we ain't done yet. We were lookin' at lake houses in Bama... and weighing the benefits of livin' in a county that basicly requires an act of God Himself to raise taxes. I'm not 100% sure but I think the county code mentions something about creeks running with blood before the tax hike... well... if not before... certainly after.

I'd love to write about all the goins' on in the world... but honestly I don't know. I haven't seen a television in almost 2 weeks... I haven't blogged... and until lastnight... horror of horrors... I hadn't even read the drudge report. I am totally clueless.

Well... I am aware of the horde of angry muslim teens currently destroying Paris...


Ok.. I'm better now.

I ain't got a lot of time... but I do have a lot of stories kids... so check back later on. I'll be back in the saddle consistantly come monday. No promises until then. For those keeping score, Huntsville is the clear frontrunner right now.. but we're looking at Dickson Tennessee today, so the dark horse is yet kick. We'll see how it goes. We'd love to end up so close to Nashville. If for no other reason, for the sheer joy of relegating JAC to "Bad Son" status.

Did I mention Jeb's havin' a Chucky Cheese Birthday Party tomarrow night???

Thank God they serve beer in that place...