Thursday, October 30, 2008

Shock Treatment

Lets face it... the practice of medicine has some dark chapters... and to many... electro-shock therapy of the 60's makes up one of the darkest. The images of patience strapped down... and basicly tortured is something that's seared into the american conscience to the point that its practically an architype. You have about a 50-50 chance of seeing some kind of shock treatment scene in any haunted house you happen to visit.

So let me tell you something you probably don't know.

Its still done. Its still done... because it works.

There are mountains of evidence that prove it works. Not just that it works... but what methods work best... all the way down to determining the peak level of effectiveness. The only thing we don't know... is why it works.

DrWho has often provided anesthesia for patients being treated. The whole thing is just bizarre to me.

First of all... the whole thing is very hush hush. The centers are usually very easy to get in and out of... patients frequently have a private door so folks don't see them coming and going. The stigma is palpable.

The major difference between moder shock therapy and what was endured 50 years ago is anesthesia. Now patients sleep through it... and not just that... they mostly even lay still... because they are paralyzed.

See the whole point is to flood the brain with electricity and induce a seizure. There are pretty strict guidelines about the length of the siezure... which effects the efficiency of treatment. On the other hand... the seizures can be so violent that the patient could be injured... so now anesthesiologists actually use very short acting paralytics.

Of course... if the patient is paralyzed... its kinda hard to tell how long the siezure is lasting ain't it?

So how did they solve this?

Well.. to be honest... some anesthesiologist was looking around and saw a bloodpressure cuff laying around. He inflated it on one of the patient's arms then gave the paralytic. The cuff prevented the drug from flowing into the cuffed arm... so they could watch the one arm flop around and therefore safely time the seizure.


Of course this all leads to some jolly great fun once one considers the possibilities. For example... unsuspecting nursing students... or rookie interns are almost always told to stand next to the cuffed arm... with predictable results.

DrWho still cracks up when she remembers this one chick nearly had to be resusitated after the arm jumped up at her.

Yes virginia... hazing still exists. Its just more elaborate.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tomorrow's Headlines Today

Its occurred to me that you probably don't much care for mainstream news outlets. Consequently... I've decided to save you the embarrassment and inconvenience of paying attention to them on November 5th.

This is what you're going to hear all day long...

Idiotic Male Broadcaster: Breaking story here... the democrats are complaining about the urban vote being suppressed. Lets go live to our correspondent at DNC headquarters.

Idiotic Correspondent: Yeah IMB I'm here at DNC headquarters and I can tell you they are very upset at what they are calling a deliberate attempt to suppress minority voters. Now we all know that minority voters are concentrated in the large urban areas such as Chicago, Detroit, and New York... but police are saying they are just being responsible... that a police presence is required in the event of civil unrest as the results come in. Democrats however are saying they are going to far, and actually interfering in the election process... simply by being seen.

Idiotic Male Broadcaster: Thanks IC. Al Sharpton has holding a press conference... lets go there now.

Sharpton: In 2000... the 'lection was stole from us... when they took it to the Supreme Court! Now here in 2008... this 'lection is bein' stole from us the ol' fashion way... with guns and badges! I'm gonna tell you right now... I'm gonna tell you right now.. we ain't gonna stand back and let this go. We ain't gonna be made no house niggas no more. Oh you say we can vote... sure.. come on down and vote... but don't mind them boys over there with the assault rifles and tear gas... they're just here to keep you safe brotha! I mean... who y'all tryin' to kid? I'm telling you right now.. our voices will be heard. We will not be silenced.

Idiotic Reporter: Reverend Sharpton are you saying that the police are intimidating voters?

Sharpton: Are you blind? Look over there! Look! What do you see? Guns and tear gas! They say they are worried about violence. I tell you right now... if this goes bad... there's gonna be violence. There will be violence.

Idiotic Reporter: There you have it IMB.. the poor are being intimidated by the police presence and their voices are being silenced. Back to you.

IMB: Thanks IR... now we've got word of a late breaking news conference being held by Senator Murtha... lets go there live.

Murtha: What the fuck do you mean I'm behind? These fucking rednecks!

***inaudible interruption***

Murtha: What the fuck do you mean I'm live? of course I'm live you ignor... ummm... Hello. We apparently have had some audio issues... I apologize for that. I want to take some time to address what's going on in Philadelphia right now. Right now... in Philadelphia... poor minorities are afraid to vote. They are afraid to vote... and if something isn't done... its going to cost the righteous Barack Obama this election. I'm calling on all my fellow senators and legislators.. and all government officials on all levels to end this tragedy before our children pay a dear dear price for it. Thank you.

IMB: Powerful Powerful words from Senator Murth from Pennsylvania. Early reports are a little conflicting it seems. At around 9:00am EST MSNBC had declared the election a landslide victory for Barack Obama... but when it was pointed out that the voting hadn't actually started yet... they were forced to retract the claim... and now... now it seems that even later reports of Obama's dominance have been somewhat flawed as states that were known to be comfortably in his pocket so to speak are looking decidedly at risk. This is seen by democrats as evidence that there is indeed deeply wrong with the process.. and they are blaming police interference. We'll keep you posted. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I was at the game... so I missed the broadcast. How did the Monday Night Crew handle Nashville? The local media seems to be pretty pissed off about some of the remarks that were made.

What did y'all think?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Paranoia and the Curse of Interesting Times

So... Given my readership... I'm assuming a lot of you have already read this. If you haven't... I'll sum up. Basicly the US Joint Chiefs and their equivelents from all around the world flew into a small town airport in upstate New York for a meeting.

Now... granted... it could be that this did not happen at all. It could be that they do this sort of thing every so often and its just not a big deal. It could also mean they wanted to talk about the World Series.

The paranoid among us tell us they were laying plans to deal with the possiblity of world wide civil unrest due to wide spread economic instability. They site several recent events... changes in legal procedure and law that lay the ground work. They point out that federal officials have been throwing around the phrase "martial law".

But before you disregard the mad ravings of the paranoids... consider... who was right about the economy? Was it the main stream talking heads?


No. It was the Lunatic Fringe that correctly predicted the stock market crash... and they also explained why it would happen before it did.

I'm not saying martial law is on the way people... but I am saying you should be prepared to deal with it. Not because a plan landed in upstate New York... but because you should ALWAYS be prepared for it.

Rumors like this... true or false... serve as a very good reminder indeed.

Be Prepared.
The Legacy of Makers Mark

Most folks these days know the most popular spirit in America is Vodka. This has been the case since the early 70's. Not suprisingly... the popular rise of the Dear Little Water happens to mimmick the feminization of the country... but that's a topic for another post.

But prior to Vodka's rise... Bourbon was the king of the mountain. Walk into a package store in 1950 and you'd find dozens more labels than are available today... and it seemed like everyone that walked in the door was after the same thing.

I'll tell you something you might not know though. If you were to taste all of those labels you'd learn one thing. Back then... bourbon pretty much all tasted the same. The variety was purely the result of marketing. And not just that... but if you taste some Evan Williams today... you'd know what virtually everything tasted like back then.

See... the Super Premium Bourbon Market which has led to the surge in popularity hadn't been invented yet... but the interesting thing is... the ground work for bourbon's revival was actually laid before its fall. A fella named Bill Samuels realized that different parts of the warehouse aged bourbon differently... so he began rotating his barrells. It was labor intensive... and was, at the time, mocked as a gimmick. But that rotation... along with careful experimentation with the recipe resulted in the first Super Premium bourbon.

Of course... now everyone from Jim Beam to Jack Daniels rotates their barrels. And they all offer Super Premium products.

See boys.. Bourbon's Golden Age... really wasn't. Bourbon's Golden Age is now. So when you sip your Knob Creek or Rare Breed... say a little word of thanks to Bill Samuels. Because if it wasn't for him and his work at Makers Mark you wouldn't have either.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

On Early Voting

The folks in the village at the foot of the mountain can vote on the color of the boulder currently crashing down towards them... but the result of the election won't change the fact that they are all going to die.

A far more sensible solution... would be to get the hell out of the way.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Deep Thoughts

"When you men get home and face an anti-war protester, look him in the eyes and shake his hand. Then, wink at his girlfriend because she knows she's dating a pussy."

General Tommy Franks

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Cherry Poppin' Daddies

We just got back from our minivacation... and after a hard day of preparations... we're now fixing to head out on a longer one. I thought I better put up some pics of the ride before I split though.

It was the first adventure ride for both DJ and DrWho... who fancied themselves some sort of team by the time the whole deal was over. After each stop.. when we were about to roll out.. they would make a little hand signal and do a modified fist bump.

It was crackin' my ass up. You really are rockstars on these trips. People come up from all over to talk to you... or just to compliment you or your ride.

These two waterfalls are a short hike down from the trace. Two small streams run across slate... so the water is naturally filtered. The water was cold and clean. Next time we'll fill up some canteens.

You need to heed this advice people. Buy a motorcycle. Ride. Live.

More trips in the works. And yes...

I'm selling the Vulcan and buying a real motorcycle.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Here Crackhead Crackhead Crackhead.

Here Crackhead... come on boy... come on.

Just after 4 today my phone rang. It was my neighbor's wife.

"Umm.. Nate... This is Sandy*. My daughter just said she saw a black man creeping around in my backyard. I just wanted to let you know to keep an eye out."

I responded in the only responsible manner I could.

"I'll be right there."

I was already strapped... of course... the boys were all down for naps... so I grabbed bonita... locked up the deadbolts... and headed over to the neighbors back yard.

There's a tree line that runs down the back of our yards and shields our houses from the airport runway behind. Its a risk. Thugs look for such things to gain stealthy entrance and egress. Plus they think they can find cover there. They'll hide in the treeline and watch... trying to figure out predictable patterns in your behavior.

Bonita and I scanned the tree line and I almost immediately saw him... a few feet in... on the oposite side of the yard.

Adrenaline was getting the best of me... and Bonita was puffed up noticeably. I walked into the treeline... still on the opposite side of the yard... and said loudly...


Dude's eyes got very big... then... all I saw was assholes and elbows.

Imagine that. Bonita wanted to take him down... she convulsed a couple times... almost involuntarily... but she never left my side. Sitting at heel... teeth exposed... like some demon waiting for the word... "kill".

no joy...

Not yet anyway.

Maybe he'll come back.

Friday, October 10, 2008


Thank you for clicking. We're sorry.. but we're currently away. DrWho, JAC, Mrs JAC, DJ, and I are off on a grand two wheeled adventure. We're heading down the Natchez Trace where we'll drink a beer at the bar where Mr Bowie took that big damned knife of his and killed a man what accused him of cheatin' at cards.

Please leave a comment... and we'll be with you as soon as possible.

Thanks again.


Monday, October 06, 2008

Blame Harvard Business School

"If its Not Growing, Its Dieing"

You want to know whats to blame for your current economic crisis? Greed you say? Harvard Business School says I. Its that theory.. that wretched buzzword style catch phrase... so often repeated... its impregnated every fascit of american economics.

Its a deplorable, loathesome, and ultimate suicidal business theory. Its one that eventually damns and destroys everyone and everything that adopts it... from a business, to a school, to a city or town. But why? Why is it so destructive?

Several different ways actually.. and I'm going to provide some fairly varied examples from completely different, and seemingly unrelated, areas to demonstrate them.

I want to explain the mechanics of why this theory is so wretched. The theory mimics greed. It creates a strip mining mentality. 10% profit is good. Its not bad. But see... 10% profit 2 years in a row... is not seen as consistant performance... instead when you apply this Harvard Business School Abortion of a Theory... its actually viewed negatively. Its illness and death. Its not growth... therefore its "death". So... 10% isn't good enough in year 2. In year 2... you have to have 10.1%... and you'd much rather have 11% or more.

Now compound this attitude with the hype driven world of Wall Street trading. More profit is more hype. More growth is more hype. More hype is more money... more money is more infrastructure... more aquisitions... more growth... and remember.. If its not growing... its dieing.

You ask were the greed comes from? It comes from that mentality. It is the direct result of the application of that mentality... to every aspect of business.

So... Lets look at specific examples...

Lets start with sports... and there is no more obvious example than NASCAR. The drive for growth has driven NASCAR to sacrifice its soul to appeal to "new" markets. This is seen by NASCAR pulling races from traditional south eastern tracks and giving them to California... or Las Vegas... where no one gives a damn. More than that... its seen in the ultra PC turn we've seen in NASCAR bigwigs over the last 10 years. Driver quarells are crushed immediately. Any show of fire and emotion is squashed immediately... all in the hopes to repackage the sport to appeal to new markets. Never mind the fact that the repackaging has pissed off the loyal fans who've been around forever.

NASCAR has found itself in a crisis. For the first time in decades it is boring... and people are ignoring it. Blame the Car of Tomarrow...but the real culprit was their idiotic attempts to market the sport by removing all the aspects that made it marketable in the first place.

Lets look at the housing market. Its all "greed" right?

Let me suggest that much of the Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac contraction can be directly attributed to Harvard Business School thinking. Look.. if everyone that qualifies for a home has one... and has recently financed... you really have a problem. You have to grow... if you don't grow... you die. So what do you do?


You do the same thing NASCAR did... you go find a new market. And if there aren't any new markets... you better damned well create one. After all... its a matter of survival.

Do the math.

And all the while I find myself thinking of that little store up in Oark. The Oark General Store in Arkansas has operated continuously since 1890. Its the same general store today that it was 100 years ago.

It has not grown.

And look at that...

It has not died.

That's because 10% profit... over and over and over again... is successful business.

10% profit... followed by 20% profit... followed by 50% profit... followed by 60% profit.. followed by bankruptcy and collapse... Well we have a word for that to... We call that failure.

You want to fix the economy?

You can start by razing Harvard Business School... and salting the earth.

Obama Jungen

Well.... Isn't that special.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Shit. It Passed.

Gillotines. Stakes. Nooses. Electric Chairs. Leathal Injections. Firing Squads. Boiling Oil. Molten Steal Enemas. 10,000 Paper Cuts. Bludgeoning. Asphixiation. Impalement.
Bane. Might be. Dead.

I have been provided with some information that makes the claim more plausible. Again.. this information proves pretty conclusively that someone died... and some of the facts about that person match the few details shared with us by Bane.

I am not convinced.

Of course...

I also laugh at people who think we actually landed on the moon.

Take it for what its worth.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Bane. Ain't. Dead.

I'll tell you how I know. Because there are no death records for September 22nd.. or 21st.. or 23rd... or hell... the whole month of september... that match someone even remotely close to his age... where he was known to live... which by the way... is not Oakland.

That sneaky prick is just lurking... waiting for me to put up some mushy post about what a great guy he was... so he can jump out and wave his pecker at me and call me a pussy.

I didn't fall for it last time... so this time he's showing more patience.

Come on out old man! You're wasting your time! I know you're still out there... and I know where.

Maybe you got bored with "Bane". Fine. I know you're around... You ain't foolin' me.

Come on out bitch! Show yourself!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

It's Official

The 2009 Corvette ZR-1... will have a base price of $103,000.00. For that price you get an astounding 638 horsepower, and over 700 foot pounds of torque.

Chevrolet CEO Wagner has stated plainly that he cannot wait to stack this car up with the Ferrari 599... or the Lamborghini Gallardo.

His enthusiasm is justified. Going by horsepower to weight... the ZR-1 should snatch either one up like a ill trained puppy and rub its nose in its own poo.

The price seems high... but consider... even using the reported rate of inflation, the 1990 version of the ZR-1 sold for 97,000 in 2007 dollars. We're talking about the same kind of price bump here.

Please do not think of this as a beefed up Z-06. Its not. They considered naming it the Z-07... but it was pointed out that this is way more than 1 better than a Z-06.

See... when they were showing off the Z-06 to Wagner... he was extremely impressed. So much so that he chuckled.. and wondered aloud, "Man... if you can do this for 60 grand... what could you guys do for 100?"

And that was all the approval the engineers ever got. They dubbed the project "blue devil" for Wagner's alma mater... Duke... and a small group of gear head engineers went to work... pretty much 24/7... for years.

This is the result.

The most advanced... highest performance... end-all-be-all Corvette ever put together at the factory.

In 2009... Ferarri owners will have to pay very close attention to the little badge on the back of the Corvettes they decide to pick on.

If they happen to mistake a Zr-1 for a Z06... they're gonna find an ugent need to wash their face.

Hail to the King!